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I Cried

This is a poem where I went through a tough break-up and cried until I was no longer hurt by it.

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I cried so many times it hurts

I cried myself to sleep until my head starts to beat

I cried to pray the pain away

I cried enough to say I am doing me

I cried so much it is not normal to me

I cried so many times I need someone worthy of me

I cried so many times I find myself numb

I cried so much that I am drawn to the hurt

 I cried so many times I do not know if I will ever be…

Looking Down

    Can anyone explain why we look down at our feet while we walk? Is it a natural habit for everyone? I was doing yesterday as I was walking towards the door. I realize I was doing it and looked up.

                                                                                                      Be You. Be True. Do You.

The Moment

You realize the moment that you  needed to get back in the habit of doing what you use to do without a man. It was when you realize you did not do anything you were going to do the whole week. The, “I will do this tomorrow” but as soon as the person invades your space because you were thinking about them it does not get done. Head over heels, is what they call it?  Your life was so about that person you lost track of yourself. Why is it when a man or a woman is with there significant other we lose all train of thought? We were so indulged in that person that we confided in them.

The day that person breaks if off, that is when our eyes open, ears are listening, and our noses are up. We have to adjust back to life without that person. For some of us, it make take a week, a month, or a year depending on how long you’ve known or have been together. Open your eyes, and know that you can still do what you need to do in YOUR life while still seeing the person you have feelings for, love, or even like. Don’t put all your energy into that one person. Your heart may be broken at the end.

Ambition

    Every new relationship I am in, rather it is a month, six months, or a year that it will last, I find something that I have to work on in my everyday life. It could be my attitude, my activities, or the way I am just use to doing things for myself I want to work on it just in case another man seeks me out. I am not just talking about physical but emotional as well. It is my ambition to do the right thing so I would not leave a relationship feeling empty handed.

     That is doing things I am uncomfortable with like asking the embarrassing questions, asking questions to inform myself if he would want the same things, or asking questions about how the last relationship went so I will not fall in the same pattern. Sometimes, I would ask questions to figure out where the person’s head is. Should every male and/or female have ambition in a relationship? 

    Is it a goal we should have? Is it something a woman should wait for, and a man to seek and find. I just find myself wanting a man to have the same ambition in a relationship as I do. Will he be willing to let me into his life while I try to figure him out emotionally, vice versa.

Be You. Be True. Do You.

Weird Feeling

Has anyone had a nervous, hurt, feeling inside their stomach you could not explain? Well, I had it twice. I woke up Sunday morning  feeling very odd like something was off. I could not put my finger on it until my now ex-boyfriend called me to tell me he wanted to come get his things, he was done. The feeling that I had when he called was gone but it was not to invite me to his church which I have been a few times it was for him to break-up. 

    I am telling this story because do females always have a feeling something is bad about to happen or something is not adding up right. It is like we already know. It is our intuition. That Saturday, I was going to gather his things up myself but I couldn’t. I stopped because I did not want to jinx myself. I had the feeling today but I couldn’t pinpoint the situation or why I was feeling the nervous, hurt, feeling again. 

    It really sucks having a break-up. It is like I had too find myself again for being with him  24/7 in the short amount of time. I was all about the ex-boyfriend. Now, that he is not in my life anymore I have to continue with my life without him. Do the things I was doing before we met. 

                                                                                                                    Be You. Be True. Do You.

Youtube

I want to start a YouTube Channel but I am just so adamant about it. Like, i want to share the ideas I have to people who can get inspired by my ideas. The only problem is, it is nerve wrecking. I want to get so many views, subscribers, likes and/or dislikes which I rather not have but something will have to do within a curtain amount of time. Just like a few others, I am scared that it will not be worth starting a YouTube Channel just because I fear of not being successful. And who wants to do something that is not going to sky rocket after trying it for a month or so. I really don’t want to do the typical makeup tutorials because I am not a makeup artist. I had to learn from watching people off YouTube. Does anyone else feel the same? I want to be different on YouTube while also being myself.

Be You. Be True. Do You.

If I Love You

This is a poem about who I don’t get along with, sometimes.

The “I love you,” seem so fake

Is it love when it is not from the heart

The spiteful things you did

You want me to speak

The pride is way too deep

“I love you,” what does it mean to you?

If it is love, why the hate?

The gifts make you smile

Inside it is just foul

I pray the hate away

It comes back like a boomerang

When will you get over yourself

We are great

With respect none is given back